Finding the Partner Role

FINDING THE PARTNER ROLE

It can be challenging for partners to find their role when Baby is often best comforted, and mostly fed by Mom. It can be easy to feel frustrated and defeated, thinking “Baby doesn’t want, or need me, so what’s the point…” But the truth is partners play a VITAL role in the early days and weeks of parenthood to give both Mom and Baby their best start.

In the early days Mom needs rest most of all, which without a second set of hands is almost impossible! So that’s a great place for partners to start…How about...

-after a good feeding, take Baby out of the house for a drive or a walk.

-thinking about Mom's most basic needs; does she need food, her water bottle filled up, a shower, time to herself in the bathroom, a visit from a close friend? Ask her about it, and make it happen.

-using a baby wrap with skin-to-skin contact around the house while making food or tidying the kitchen

-helping to "guard the door" from unexpected visitors, or well meaning people who are overstaying their welcome. (Often a 1/2 hr visit is MORE than enough)

-get groceries and take on household tasks like laundry and vacuuming

-taking the "morning shift", so Mom can get an extra hour or so of sleep.

-sitting on an exercise ball to gently bounce and soothe a fussy baby.

-keeping conversation open with Mom about how she's honestly feeling in her new role, and be prepared to ask for help from healthcare professionals or trusted family / friends.

-making sure Mom doesn’t have to carry the carseat, or load / unload the stroller

-once baby is fed, take responsibility to burp, change, and spend some time together holding and rocking baby

-spend time talking/singing to baby, letting them know they are safe, looking in their eyes, making deep emotional connections

-taking initiative on things like bathing baby, washing bottles, or changing bedding, etc

These are just a few suggestions, a place to start, and already it’s a long list!

...It’s true that it can seem like the partner role is a bit of a “side-job” in the beginning, but we promise you, these small tasks are BIG deals in promoting family health and creating a foundation where teamwork leads the way.

Important Note!

Partners will also need breaks as well! A new baby is a big change for everyone, so if you are in that role, be mindful to have your own support system in place - a trusted friend or a mentor in parenthood who has gone before you and can give you a pep talk and some well-earned encouragement!