Surviving Nighttime Feedings

Surviving Nighttime Feedings

Whether it’s your first, or third baby, nighttime feedings can be one of the most difficult parts about Motherhood. The challenge isn’t just in the interrupted sleep, although that part is definitely worth a mention! But more than that, many Moms describe a deep sense of loneliness that they’d never experienced before, and certainly never expected to feel when taking care of their new baby. Even with foundational supports in place, this is a tough one. Of course, that feeling of loneliness is normal*, but also completely real. And just because something is “normal” doesn’t mean that it’s not difficult.

So, how does one cope? How does a Mom survive the nighttime feedings?

Here are some of our first thoughts to get you through...

PARTNER SUPPORT: This one is especially important for first time Moms, and in those early weeks. Taking care of an infant in the middle of the night is a HUGE responsibility, and if it's your first time - it is something you've never done before! So you'll be learning the rhythms of it, and adjusting to a new normal. In some families, partners may trade off on nighttime feedings, but you may also want to try being up together, even just for the first few weeks. It’s okay to tell your partner that even though you may not need anything specific, you do need companionship, and support.

SET UP YOUR SPACE: YOU are your baby’s favourite space ♥ so don’t be shy about creating a space for yourself that allows you to be most comfortable while caring for your infant. That may mean choosing the right nursing chair, wearing a cozy robe, using your favourite blanket, getting a new pair of slippers, using a soft rug at your feet, having a diffuser ready with your favourite essential oils ready to click on, or really mastering the side-laying breastfeeding position so you can stay comfy in bed. Things you'll definitely want close by are a one-handed water bottle, soft night light, snacks for yourself, lip balm, hair ties, and extra breast pads if you're breastfeeding (put all these items together to create your own feeding caddy!).

EARBUDS: Instead of scrolling on social media (which can make you feel even more isolated), listen to a podcast, audio book, or your favourite calming music. Having some "audio company" can really help to pass the time and keep the lonelies at bay. Protip: Choose something that has a 30-40minute time limit that aligns with baby’s feeding and doesn’t tempt you to listen longer and keep you up from sleeping! ~Spoken from experience!~

KEEP IT LOW KEY: Keep the lights low, and avoid changing levels of the home (or even rooms) especially in those first early weeks. Have diaper and feeding supplies all ready before you go to bed. If you are bottle feeding consider having a thermos of water ready to go at your bedside and have your own water bottle already filled up. Change Baby's diaper before the feeding, so they are ready to sleep after, and then so are you! ProTip: Dressing Baby in a nightgown with a pull string at the bottom, or choosing a onsie with a zipper instead of snaps make diaper changing much easier.

KNOW YOUR LIMITS: There may come a point when you need a break. If possible, take it. Get creative! Maybe Partner does the very first nighttime feed so you can get a longer stretch of sleep first thing. Or maybe they do the early, early morning feed so you can sleep in... Maybe you do the feeding, and then move to a separate bedroom with earplugs in, while your partner re-settles the baby. Don’t underestimate these extra hours of sleep for yourself. ProTip: A four hour stretch of sleep in a row for Mom can make a BIG difference in maintaining health and well being!

REACH OUT: If you’re having an especially rough night, (or rough week of nights), don’t be afraid to message a friend in the middle of the night. That's what friends are for! And be really honest with where you’re at. It's okay to NOT enjoy getting up every 2-3 hrs in the middle of the night. I mean, really, who would!?!? ...If they’re also a feeding Mom, let them know you’re thinking of them, and that they’re not alone either. If you’re concerned about waking anyone up, message us! We may not respond right away, but when we do you can guarantee that we’ll have a word of encouragement and some understanding.

ABOVE ALL, know that what you are doing is an incredibly important act of love, and has tremendous value. It is not easy, and it does feel isolating in and lonely. You are a Mom and maybe even a new one. The eagerness to do well and "succeed", mixed with vulnerability and responsibility can be incredibly stressful, day or night. But remember - you have the autonomy to make your OWN rules for survival, and what is best for your household WILL be different than what is best for another's. Be confident in this. The first three months are survival mode, and it is a Mother's right to create an environment, and make choices that benefit both her and her baby.

*Here we are talking specifically about loneliness during nighttime feedings. There are other aspects of mothering that also can feel isolating and lonely, BUT loneliness should NOT be the overarching feeling in your experience as Mom. If you are concerned about the level of isolation you are experiencing, please, reach out! We are here for you. You were not meant to do this alone.